Common grounds under Wisconsin law

• Abandonment: If the other parent has failed to contact or maintain a relationship with the child for six months or longer, and has not shown intent to return, this may be considered abandonment.
• Failure to support: A parent who has not provided financial support, despite being able to, may be found unfit. The court often considers the length of time and pattern of behavior.
• Neglect or abuse: A history of endangerment, unsafe conditions or serious mistreatment may justify terminating parental rights to safeguard the child’s well-being.

Consent is not the final word

Preliminary requirements

Serving your spouse

Temporary hearing

Pre-trial conference

Final hearing

• Present evidence that your spouse is self-sufficient: Alimony is only meant to support your spouse until they’re able to become financially independent. So, as you enter your spousal support dispute, your spouse is going to try to play up their expenses and their inability to find meaningful work. You might be able to counter their evidence, though, if you can demonstrate that they have the skills and education necessary to find gainful employment and thus become self-sufficient. You might also be able to show that your spouse hasn’t put forth enough effort to look for the employment necessary to provide financial stability. You can even ask the court to assist you in evaluating your spouse’s ability to find appropriate employment and to consider whether they’ve put forth enough effort to secure it.
• Demonstrate your expenses: Remember, the amount of alimony you’re ordered to pay, if any at all, will be largely based on your ability to adhere to that financial obligation. Therefore, if you can show the court that you have your own expenses to contend with that eat away at your income, then you’ll be in a better position to show you don’t have the leftover income necessary to pay for the requested spousal support.
• Consider settlement: Ongoing monthly alimony payments can be incredibly burdensome and costly. But you might be able to escape this ongoing financial obligation by considering alternative forms of resolution. This could include giving up more marital assets or negotiating a lump sum payment.
• Show cohabitation: If your spouse is living with a new love interest, then you may be able to successfully argue to the court that they’re receiving sufficient financial support elsewhere and that you should therefore be off the hook when it comes to alimony. Be diligent in gathering evidence here so that there’s no question that your spouse is in fact living with someone else and is receiving financial support from them.

Be aggressive in defending yourself against a request for spousal support

• You’re being bullied: Part of the benefit of settlement negotiations is that you can have some control over the outcome. But if your spouse continues to push you around and insists on resolution that puts you in a difficult position without compromise, then you should consider calling off negotiations and prepare for trial.
• You have strong arguments to secure more than what’s being offered: Even if your spouse is trying to be accommodating, they might be offering you less than you could otherwise obtain in court. For example, your spouse might offer to pay you a certain amount in spousal support, but based on their income and the sacrifices you made during your marriage you may feel confident that the court will award much more. If your spouse doesn’t agree with you in those types of situations, then it’s time to walk away and advocate for what you deserve in front of a judge.
• You can use the threat of trial as leverage: If there’s sensitive information about your marriage or your spouse’s life that your spouse wants to keep private, then walking away from negotiations to go to trial can be a point of leverage that you can use to hopefully secure a more favorable resolution. If your spouse doesn’t agree to terms that are more beneficial to you at that point, then you’ll be in a strong position to advocate for your position at trial.

Child support guidelines

Factors are used when considering modification

• Each parent’s financial resources
• The child’s health
• The cost of childcare
• The earning capacity of each parent

Courts take child support seriously

1. You might miss red flags: There can be a lot of serious yet hidden issues that come up in the midst of divorce. If this is your first marriage dissolution or you otherwise don’t like to be completely entangled in the process, then you could miss red flags of these lurking problems. This can include signs of parental alienation and hidden assets. By having a legal professional on your side, you’ll have someone experienced in spotting and aggressively addressing these issues.
2. You might misunderstand the law: Although a lot of the court’s analysis in your divorce will be broad, going at your divorce alone could lead to a misapplication to the law. This can be disservice to yourself, and one that leaves you at a significant disadvantage as you step into the next chapter of your life. To be successful in your divorce, you need a firm understanding of the law and how to appropriately apply it to the facts of your case.
3. Your divorce could end up being more costly: Sure, you might save a few bucks on your divorce by foregoing legal services, but you could end up paying more in the long run once property division, alimony and child support issues are resolved. You may also end up spending more later to address a child custody modification if you don’t secure a proper custody order that protects your child’s best interests the first time around.
4. You might place more stress upon yourself: Dealing with the end of your marriage is hard enough without piling on all the intricate legal nuances that come into play in the divorce process. But if you’re pursuing a divorce on your own, then you’ll have to tackle these issues on your own, forcing yourself to deal with the emotional and legal aspects of your case at the same time. This can be incredibly stressful, but it can also cause you to make rash legal decisions that are based on your emotional responses.
5. You could face a power imbalance: Even if you think that you can navigate divorce on your own, there’s a good chance that your spouse doesn’t feel the same way. If they have an attorney on their side, then you might quickly find yourself outmatched and bullied. This may leave you feeling inclined to cave on issues that an attorney would otherwise help you avoid.

Don’t lose out on an opportunity to secure the divorce outcome that you want

Leave the children out of holiday planning

Put aside your own negative emotions

How to defend against a child custody modification request

• Highlighting lies and misconstrued facts: If the allegations in the motion to modify are riddled with inaccuracies, then you need to be prepared to highlight them in court. By presenting contradictory evidence, you demonstrate to the court that the other parent’s account of the circumstances can’t be trusted, which very well could lead to a denial of the motion to modify. So, assess any documentary evidence you might have, and be sure to speak to witnesses who may be able to provide insightful information to the court.
• Anticipating what the other parent will present: Going into your modification hearing blind is a bad idea. You can gain a sense of what your child’s other parent will present at the hearing by engaging in thorough discovery. Through this process you can request documents, seek answers to important questions, and depose the other parent to pin them down on their testimony. This can give you information and evidence needed to more adequately prepare for your custody hearing.
• Deflecting personal attacks: A lot of custody modification requests are based on unsavory characteristics of an individual’s lifestyle. If you can’t deny the evidence on these points, you might be able to at least minimize their impact by redirecting the court’s focus on the child’s best interests. By contextualizing the arguments, you could demonstrate that the issues presented to the court as problematic in fact aren’t all that relevant to your ability to provide your child with safe and effective care.

Don’t let the other parent take control of your custody case

• Lost trust: When lies are told in court, thereby affecting the outcome of whatever legal issue is in play, trust between the parties can be eroded. This can negatively impact your co-parenting relationship with the other parent and make it difficult to carry out the court’s orders once your divorce is finalized. But these lies can also negatively impact your relationship with your child, as your child might come to believe whatever lies are told in court, or they might come to think of you as a dishonest person. To avoid this, be sure to set the record straight in your case by being honest and calling out any lies that your spouse tells.
• Unfair property division: Lies pertaining to marital and individually owned property can have a tremendous impact on your future financial stability. These falsehoods can lead to unbalanced and unfair division of assets, and it might result in you being denied the financial support that you need. On the flip side, unchecked lies could leave you on the hook for undeserved spousal support. Make sure you have documentary evidence that supports the truth and your position heading into your divorce.
• Legal problems: Lying to the court can lead to a finding of contempt, and it could even go so far as to lead to allegations of perjury. This, in turn, can cause you to lose trust with the court, and it can lead to significant penalties, including having to pay fees or even face incarceration.

How can you protect yourself from lies in your divorce case?

• Keeping detailed written records about interactions you’ve had with your spouse or your child’s other parent.
• Reducing communication to writing.
• Being transparent.
• Avoiding minimizing or exaggerating issues.
• Gathering documentary evidence that’s reliable.
• Using witnesses who are credible.
• Focusing on your child’s best interests.
• Utilizing a child custody evaluation.

Are you ready to navigate your divorce or child custody case?

• Length of the marriage (generally, spousal support is intended for marriages lasting 10 years or longer)
• Age, health and earning capacity of each spouse
• Whether it is feasible for payee spouse (spouse to receive alimony) to support themselves and individually attain the lifestyle they had while married
• Contributions made by each spouse during the marriage (financial and otherwise)
• Division of marital property
• Prenuptial agreement/postnuptial agreement (if parties have one)